Can being your child’s ‘soulmate’ backfire?

We live in an era where expressing emotions openly has become the norm, and this shift has significantly influenced modern parenting. Gone are the days when fathers sat on the sidelines with a straight face, watching mothers shoulder the responsibility of childcare. Today, fathers actively embrace parenthood, sharing the joys, challenges, and moments of raising a child alongside mothers—and sometimes even taking the lead.
This wave of free-flowing emotions has brought parents closer to their children, giving rise to soulmate parenting, where both parents are deeply involved in every aspect of their child’s life.
But could being too involved unintentionally harm your relationship with your child?
Sumalatha Vasudeva, psychologist, Gleneagles BGS Hospital, Bengaluru, tells India Today that soulmate parenting is a modern approach where a parent takes on multiple roles to nurture a deeper emotional connection with their child.
“The parent acts as a best friend, providing companionship and trust; a sensitive listener, understanding the child’s emotions without judgement; a cheerleader, offering encouragement and motivation; and a diagnostician, identifying and addressing the child’s developmental and emotional needs,” she explains.
Further, Dr Rahul Chandhok, head consultant, mental health and behavioural science, Artemis Hospital, Gurugram, says that this style of parenting is not only about developing strong bonds. It is about providing children with emotional resilience and self-awareness.
When balanced with appropriate boundaries, this approach fosters a nurturing environment that can support emotional and intellectual growth.
The rising popularity of soulmate parenting can be attributed to its alignment with the increasing emphasis on emotional intelligence and open communication in relationships.
Parents today are more aware of the need for a safe and nurturing environment that fosters their child’s self-expression and individuality.
This style of parenting is also seen as a response to the growing challenges children face, such as mental health issues and societal pressures, prompting parents to take a more supportive and engaged role.
Dr Chandhok notes that new-generation parents, particularly millennials and Gen Z, are striving to form deeper emotional bonds with their children while managing the complexities of modern life.

Soulmate parenting fosters a deeper emotional bond (Photo: Pexels/Andrea Piacquadio)

Adding to this, Sumalatha Vasudeva highlights key principles of soulmate parenting:
Each additional role a parent plays impacts the child in different ways:
As a best friend, the parent builds trust and reduces fear of judgement, encouraging the child to share their thoughts and feelings openly. However, overly prioritising friendship can blur boundaries.
Meanwhile, as a sensitive listener, the child feels understood and validated, which enhances emotional regulation and self-esteem. The parent instils confidence and motivation in the child as a cheerleader.
Lastly, as a diagnostician, the parent identifies emotional, behavioural, or developmental concerns early, ensuring timely intervention and support.
According to Dr Chandhok, soulmate parenting strengthens the parent-child bond. Adopting various roles creates a nurturing environment where children feel safe to share their thoughts, fears, and aspirations without fear of judgement.
He goes on to mention that the benefits of soulmate parenting are extensive, which can improve emotional security and allow children to develop a positive sense of self-worth and resilience.
Parents will also have greater insight into the needs and emotions of their child, thus supporting them in an effective manner. Such parenting promotes positive reinforcement for the child, bringing more confidence and motivation to their activities.
This parenting style fosters a balanced, healthy relationship where the child feels loved and understood.
Not just this, but soulmate parenting benefits the child psychologically by promoting emotional intelligence and self-esteem, hence making them resilient. The different roles played by a parent create an atmosphere where children are valued, understood, and supported. This strengthens their confidence and encourages healthy emotional expression.
Children raised in such a nurturing framework are more likely to have strong coping skills, secure attachments, and empathy.
While soulmate parenting builds strong emotional bonds, it can pose risks if boundaries are not maintained.
Sumalatha Vasudeva warns that excessive involvement can hinder a child’s independence. And, relying too much on a parent for approval can weaken a child’s resilience.
Blurring boundaries can lead to a loss of parental authority, while overprotection may result in overdependence.

If not properly balanced, soulmate parenting can have a negative impact (Photo: Pexels/Ketut Subiyant)

Parents can also experience burnout, as constant emotional involvement is draining. Additionally, this style of parenting may set unrealistic expectations for the child, leaving them unprepared to cope when the parent is unavailable.
A delicate balance is essential. While emotional support is crucial, being overly lenient or lacking authority can create challenges related to discipline, respect for boundaries, and accountability. Overindulgence can also cause role confusion, where the child sees the parent more as an equal than an authority figure.
Both Sumalatha Vasudeva and Dr Rahul Chandhok support soulmate parenting but stress the importance of balance.
“Effective soulmate parenting should be balanced with boundaries and structure to not only foster emotional connection and resilience but also maintain the authority to promote discipline and healthy independence in children,” says Dr Chandhok.
“Soulmate parenting should complement, not replace, traditional parenting principles of discipline, responsibility, and independence,” concludes Vasudeva.